Bumps in the Road
A New Year Begins
The holidays have come and gone. Your visitors have left and/or you have returned home from your own vacation. The routine of daily life has once again hit; school, play dates, errands, work—the cycle of life starting in again, welcoming the beginning of 2007. Some people take this time of year as opportunity to set new goals, or “resolutions”. For some reason, the New Year is the time when many people attempt to do things slightly differently than the year prior. Sometimes resolutions are focused inward, and are completely within our control. Other resolutions may effect the people around us, and are not always within our control. For example, “I am going to lose 10 pounds” differs from “I am going to have more patience with my spouse this year. “ or “I’m not going to react X way when my partner does Y.”
Perhaps New Year’s Resolutions started in an effort to direct people towards the future. Perhaps we use resolutions to motivate us to do things we want to do, but can’t seem to find the time or energy to accomplish. I can’t say for sure. I do try to make my own resolutions simple so that I can accomplish what I set out to do, especially since not making any resolutions at all feels better to me than making a resolution and not accomplishing it. What I can say is that setting realistic goals for yourself is good, regardless of whether you call them ‘resolutions’ or whether it is the start of the New Year—the key word here is realistic. Sometimes we wish that saying the resolution is enough to make it happen; unfortunately, it usually takes more than a statement to achieve the goals we set for ourselves.
In the context of our relationships, we might always be well intended, and inadvertently hurt the people we love the most.
In line with the above, one of our readers asked this question
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Again, I invite you to write me questions about anything you wish. If you send an email, and wish to remain anonymous, just let me know. I look forward to hearing from you.
Amy B. Trachter,Psy.D.,Ph.D.
Dr. Trachter is a licensed clinical psychologist and the Director of Development and Operations for romance channel.com, a new subsidiary channel of Metroguide.com. She is an Adjunctive Assistant Professor of Clinical Medicine at the Miller School of Medicine University of Miami. She can be reached at email@example.com.